Cruising | STAYING WITH DAD | Tape 1

Things haven’t exactly been easy since my wife caught me having sex with another man a few years ago and kicked me out. The worst part of it was having to leave my son Hunter behind. He’s my whole world. He had a nice house, his school, and friends, though, while I was moving into a small apartment in another town to come out and start my life over.

I don’t know why I agreed, but we decided that it was best to not tell Hunter that I was gay until he was older. That meant that he didn’t have any reasonable idea why his mother and I split up and she made it seem like it was my choice to leave. It added emotional distance to the real physical distance between us.

That was several years ago. It’s been nice having my freedom but, mostly, I’ve been living on autopilot. Trying to make a new life has been harder than I expected. The worst thing is that I miss my son so much! I’ve just settled into a rut in the tiny apartment that I got when I first moved here. It’s pretty sorry but I just haven’t had any reason to get something better.

That all changed a week ago when my ex-wife called me. Hunter has been having increasing behavior and attitude problems but we just blamed them on the divorce. Recently, though, his mother, concerned that he might be getting involved in illegal activity, confronted him. Hunter lost his temper and told her that he is gay and had been meeting other men for sex in the dark of the local park.

She was on the phone with me within hours. She said she couldn’t, and wouldn’t, deal with him and I needed to come get him. Part of me was overjoyed to have my boy with me again, another part was freaking out. My son was gay, and my wife told my son that I was gay in the middle of an argument. My son was cruising parks for sex. I had no idea how he felt about any of it and he wouldn’t return my calls. If all of that wasn’t enough, he was moving into my crappy apartment with me and I didn’t even have a bed for him to sleep in.

Saying the first few days were awkward is an understatement. Then, I actually made it worse: There is a younger guy in my building that I’ve been hooking up with for several months. Usually, he comes to my place but, with Hunter here, that hasn't been possible. Last night Hunter decided to go out, though. I wasn’t comfortable about it but I don’t want him to feel like he’s in jail. We agreed that he would just go out for an hour. After he walked out the door, I realized that gave me an hour to myself as well, and I called my friend.

I was afraid to have him come over. My friend said it would be hot to meet behind the garbage dumpster in the alley next to the building. I don’t know why I agreed. Maybe, I thought it was kind of hot, too. In the middle of getting a blowjob, though, I looked up and saw Hunter at the end of the alley watching me. Part of me wanted to die, another part shot a massive load down my friend's throat.

I headed back to the apartment to face Hunter. Things were tense. I think both of us were embarrassed. Both of us being gay had been the elephant in the room since Hunter moved in. I’d been waiting for him to feel comfortable enough to bring it up on his own, but he hadn’t. I wanted to be supportive and I knew he needed the kind of guidance and advice that all young gay men need, and he obviously hadn’t been getting it from an older, wiser friend. At the same time, I’m his father and I had to set rules for him, even if he didn’t like it.

It made it even more difficult that he’s so sexy! We’ve had facetime conversations before, but it wasn’t until I saw him in person again that I realized what a difference these few years had made. He was always cute, but he’s grown from being a cute boy into a handsome young man. He can still be so shy and vulnerable, but he’s having sex in the park and… damn! I mean he’s my son and I shouldn’t be thinking about him like that, and neither of us should be having sex in public, but I just can’t help but think about meeting him in an alley. He gave me fantasies.

We were sitting on the couch and we really needed to talk about all of it, but I didn’t know how to start. I wanted to be the responsible father figure but the sexual tension between us was just too strong to pretend like it wasn’t there.

I took a deep breath and asked, “Would you like to…”

His answer was to scoot over and curl up next to me with this shy hungry look in his eyes and his hands on my crotch. When our lips met all of my doubts were gone. This was so right!

He slipped my cock into his mouth; it was the best thing I ever felt in my life. The look in his eyes when he gazed up at me, from between my knees, made it clear that Hunter didn’t need a father as much as he needed a Daddy. There would be times that I would have to be his father, but I didn’t just want to love Hunter as my son. I wanted to make love to him as my boy.

Before Hunter went down on me, I was wishing I hadn’t gotten a blowjob in the alley because it was so embarrassing. I had gone over the edge during my dumpster dicking and I pulled out. I was sorry I wasted my load in the alley and didn’t have more to shoot all over my boy’s sweet, handsome face. But I knew, somehow, I'd make up for it.